Can You Choose Your Baby's Gender During IVF?

When couples start IVF, they often have big dreams-not just for a baby, but for the kind of family they want to build. One question that comes up again and again is: Can you pick the gender of your baby during IVF?

Yes, but it’s not as simple as choosing a color

Technically, yes, you can select the gender of your embryo during IVF. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, legal everywhere, or even offered by every clinic. The method used is called preimplantation genetic testing (PGT), specifically PGT-A or PGT-SR, which screens embryos for chromosomal abnormalities. One of the side effects of this screening is that it reveals the sex chromosomes-XX for female, XY for male.

So, if you’re doing IVF and want to know the gender before transfer, it’s possible. But clinics don’t automatically test for gender unless you ask for it. And even then, there are rules.

Why do people want to choose gender?

People have different reasons. Some want to balance their family-like having a boy after three girls. Others have a medical reason. If a serious genetic disorder runs in the family and is linked to one sex-like Duchenne muscular dystrophy or hemophilia, which mostly affect males-doctors may recommend selecting a female embryo to avoid passing it on.

In the UK, the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) only allows gender selection for medical reasons. That means if you’re not at risk of passing on a sex-linked disease, you can’t legally pick gender just because you prefer it. The same is true in Canada, much of Europe, and Australia.

But in the US, it’s different. Many private clinics offer non-medical gender selection as a service. Some couples travel there specifically for this. Costs can add up-PGT testing alone can run £3,000-£5,000 on top of the IVF cycle, which itself is £5,000-£10,000 in the UK.

How does gender selection actually work in IVF?

Here’s the step-by-step process:

1. You undergo a standard IVF cycle: ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval, fertilization in the lab.
2. Embryos grow for 5-6 days until they become blastocysts.
3. A few cells are carefully removed from each embryo (this is called a biopsy).
4. The cells are sent to a genetics lab, where they’re tested for chromosomes.
5. Results come back in about 1-2 weeks, showing which embryos are male or female, and whether they’re chromosomally normal.
6. You and your doctor pick which embryo(s) to transfer based on gender and health.

It’s not 100% foolproof. There’s a small chance of misdiagnosis-around 1-2%. That’s why clinics don’t guarantee gender selection, even when they offer it.

What are the success rates?

If you’re asking whether picking gender increases your chance of pregnancy, the answer is no. Gender selection doesn’t make IVF more likely to work. What does help is picking a chromosomally normal embryo. That’s what PGT does. Gender is just extra information.

Success rates for IVF with PGT are about 50-60% per transfer in women under 35, regardless of gender. For women over 40, it drops to 20-30%. The gender of the embryo doesn’t change those odds.

Is it ethical?

This is where things get messy. Critics say gender selection leads to gender imbalance-like in parts of China and India, where cultural preference for boys has led to millions of missing girls. Even in countries where it’s legal, some worry it normalizes treating children like products.

Supporters argue it’s personal choice. If you’ve spent years struggling with infertility, why shouldn’t you have control over something as personal as gender? Especially when it helps avoid a life-threatening disease.

The UK takes a cautious approach. The HFEA says gender selection should only be used to prevent serious medical conditions. They don’t allow it for social reasons. This is based on decades of ethical review and public consultation.

What if you’re not in the UK?

If you’re considering IVF abroad, check the laws. In the US, clinics in states like California or New York openly offer gender selection for non-medical reasons. In Mexico, Ukraine, and Georgia, it’s also common-and cheaper. But there’s a catch: overseas clinics aren’t regulated the same way. You might get promises that aren’t backed by science or ethics.

Some clinics abroad advertise “99% accuracy” for gender selection. That’s misleading. No test is perfect. And if something goes wrong-like an embryo transfer that doesn’t stick, or a misdiagnosis-you’re far from home with limited legal recourse.

Are there alternatives to IVF for gender selection?

There are myths out there: timing intercourse, diet changes, even pH-balancing kits. None of them work. The only scientifically proven way to influence gender before conception is through IVF with PGT.

Even sperm sorting techniques-like MicroSort-have been tried, but they’re not approved in the UK and have low success rates (around 70-80% for girls, 60-70% for boys). They’re also not widely available.

What should you ask your clinic?

If you’re thinking about gender selection, here’s what to ask:

• Do you offer PGT for gender selection?
• Is it allowed under UK law for my situation?
• What’s the cost breakdown? (Testing, IVF, storage, transfer)
• What’s your lab’s accuracy rate for sex determination?
• How many embryos will likely be available for testing?
• What happens to embryos of the gender I don’t choose?

Some clinics will only test embryos if there are five or more. If you only produce two or three, gender selection might not be practical. That’s something many couples don’t realize until they’re already halfway through the process.

What happens to the embryos you don’t use?

This is a big emotional question. If you test five embryos and only want a girl, what do you do with the boys? You can freeze them, donate them to research, or discard them. Each choice comes with its own emotional weight.

Clinics in the UK must follow strict guidelines on embryo storage and disposal. You’ll need to sign consent forms. There’s no rush-you can decide later. But it’s better to think about it before you start.

Can you guarantee a baby of a specific gender?

No. Even with PGT, there’s no guarantee. You might transfer the only female embryo and still not get pregnant. Or you might miscarry. Or the embryo might not implant. Gender selection gives you control over one variable-but not the whole picture.

Many couples end up feeling disappointed if they don’t get the gender they wanted. That’s why counseling is required in the UK before PGT is approved. It’s not just about the science-it’s about preparing for the emotional reality.

Is it worth the cost and stress?

That depends. If you’re carrying a serious genetic condition, then yes-gender selection could save your future child from pain and early death. In those cases, it’s life-changing.

If you’re doing it because you want a boy after two girls, ask yourself: Will this decision change how you love your child? If the answer is no, then the cost, stress, and ethical questions might not be worth it.

Most people who go through IVF-gender selection or not-end up with the same outcome: a healthy baby. The gender? That’s just one part of the story.